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”The practice of Yoga and being Mindful is a ‘choice’.

The word for ‘Mind’ in all asian countries is “Heart” so learning how to be “Mindful” is the same as learning how to “Live with Heart”

Our heart at it’s most intrinsic nature simply wants to be open.  It takes courage to keep your heart open, hence the title “The Way of the Mindful ‘Warrior’ ” When the heart shuts down due to things like “fear” a feeling of “dis-ease” can be felt, simply because the heart wants to be open, not closed.

A teacher once told me that the roots of suffering come from desire, aversion or ignorance and that all desires, aversion and ignorance can be traced back to a form of self loathing (WOW! :/ )

It has helped me to study my own behaviour in relation to ‘desire’ which can be termed as everything “I want” , ‘aversion’ which can be termed as everything  “I don’t want” and ‘ignorance’ which can be termed as resistance to reality (not seeing things for what they really are).

Through the process of self inquiry and ‘knowing thyself’ , another way to practice yoga, I have discovered that all of my ‘wants’ ‘don’t wants’ and my own ignorance generally relates to FEAR.  So when ever I hear myself saying – “I just want” or “What if” (which is just to another way to say ‘I don’t want) it’s an alarm bell that FEAR has stepped in and is the driving force behind the dialogue in my mind and if it goes unchecked, it becomes the driving force behind my ‘actions’.  The Bhagavad-gita talks about “Yoga” being ‘skilful action’.  That skill cannot be cultivated unless we know why we are doing what we are doing, why we are acting in a certain way.

Here is an example:

My desire to want to be ‘understood’ can come from the fear of being misunderstood.  My desire to want to be accepted can come from my fear of being rejected.  My desire to want to want to ‘do more’ can come from a my fear of failure. When I start basing my decisions in life based on fear my life can turn to shit – it’s when I start saying yes when I mean no, or saying no ‘just incase’ things may not ‘work out’ – when in actual fact it would have been fine to say yes!

Perhaps it’s worth questioning then –  is FEAR in its many shapes and forms related to the pain of not accepting yourself as you are right now (which at some level is self hatred!)  – and that is harmful stuff (it’s actually a form of “himsa” which means harm or violence – the opposite to one of the guiding principles in Yoga – the first of the Yamas called ‘Ahimsa’)

Ahimsa is the Yoga of compassion or do no harm, a helpful ingredient to cultivate Ahimsa is ‘acceptance’.  Acceptance is also one of the Pillars of Mindfulness.

One great opportunity to practice this element of being Mindful is to be grateful for the things in life that may challenge you to face your ‘fears’ .  As the saying goes in order to grow “do one thing in life each day that scares you”

One way in which I have had the opportunity to do this is to say “yes” to  invitations to speak in public.  Ive used my own fear of public speaking as a platform to ‘practice yoga off the mat’ and I begin pay attention to the experience of feeling like I am becoming tossed about by FEAR:-

Fear of being judged, Fear of not being accepted, Fear of being criticised, fear of not being good enough… the list goes on.

So here’s the thing:  I can choose one of two paths in how I respond to this FEAR.

Ive broken this up into the two different acronyms of how I have learnt to view FEAR and how I choose to deal with it.

The first I will share with you I learnt from a friend & yoga teacher who shared his acronym for FEAR (that he learnt in the army) He had shared this with me after coming to my yoga class in Brisbane. I was a little nervous that a Yoga Teacher of his status was going to be coming to my class so I based the class theme on FEAR  – while I held them in pigeon pose, I began explaining the anatomy of things like fear and how it can take us out in life. My friend came up to me after the class and said I was cringing when you said you were going to share with us the acronym for FEAR.  I said to him why was that? He said “I thought you were going to use the same acronym of what he had been told in the army that FEAR stands for, and I thought surely she is not going to share that in a Yoga class?He told me what he had been told regarding Fear in the army which is, Fear stands for:

 

  Fuck

  Everything

  And

  Run!

Although this acronym was completely the opposite to the one I shared in my class, it is this acronym (Fuck Everything And Run) is often what I feel like doing when I am faced with the challenge of public speaking or rather when I am faced with the ‘falsehood’ of my insecurities of not feeling ‘good enough’ (this applies to challenges in relationships too!)

 

However the acronym that has been most useful for me to apply (which I had learned from a Kinesiologist and Yoga Teacher called Paul) and the one that I shared in my yoga class that day is to consider that FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real?

 

To this day I find it really useful when ever I feel fear – to ask the question : Is what I am feeling ‘real’ ? is it really true that people are going to judge me? Is it true that I have nothing of value to share? or is my FEAR? (which is False Evidence Appearing Real)

 

Quite often what we FEAR comes from inaccurate impressions we create about ourselves by what we may have experienced in the past.  When we start confusing the past with what’s happening now it can muddy our perception of TRUTH.  Somewhere along the line we get distracted from our ability to simply trust our own existence.  Somewhere along the line we buy into false beliefs about ourselves that have nothing to do with NOW.

 

The Way of the Mindful Warrior is to discern what is TRUTH and what is not, what is ‘REAL’ and what is NOT.

 

So at the end of the day – you have two choices when faced with a challenge in life you can F*%k Everything And Run or you can choose to realise that the pain caused by FEAR can be just a reminder that you are not practicing YOGA – i.e. you are sending your body into fight or flight mode just from what you ‘think’ might happen (they are not based in the ‘NOW’ . In using opportunities that challenge us as a way to PRACTICE YOGA we can begin to turn fear around – we can turn the dis-ease that fear creates into ease just by having the courage to ask the question:

 

How Would Love Respond in this moment?  (by the way the word on the street is that How Would Love Respond is a fantastic book – one of my favourites actually – thanks Kurek Ashleigh!) 

 

 

Instead of running from fear Yoga has helped me find the courage to simply question it. Yoga has helped me find the courage stand in the fire long enough to realise that pain and suffering have benefits and in that moment I realise that , there is no longer dis-ease or suffering , there is actually joy! 

 

The obstacles to being mindful I no longer see as “obstacles” but instead pathways to helping me remember my own truth. Through the dark moments of self loathing comes the light of knowing that the difference between light / dark or ease and disease can be just in the questions you choose to ask yourself:

 

What needs to be acknowledged

 

What needs to be accepted &

 

What needs to be let go of in order for me practice self LOVE?

 

 

My practice of self inquiry and having very supportive people around me when ever those episodes come up where I feel like running, throwing in the towel (or having a good old crack at self sabotage) have been part of what helps me come back to the path of YOGA.

 

 

I am so fortunate to have supportive people around me like my husband and friends.  People whom although it feels uncomfortable for me I can still be vulnerable enough to share my fears and ask for support. Who would have thought pain and discomfort can work so beautifully like that, eventually it asks you to “BE REAL” In that moment you understand that it is much easier to be in your TRUTH than it is to hide it.

 

After having a vulnerable and loving discussion with my husband (which at the time was in the form of a panic attack before having to present at a Fitness conference about Yoga) he encouraged me to PAUSE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH and just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

 

 

He reminded me of the importance of acknowledging and “remembering” the golden rules (foundations) of Mindfulness and that was LOVE & KINDNESS. His way of saying this was – “Go easy on yourself mate!  Rather than focus on beating myself up about falling into the traps to being Mind-less (ie – worrying what others think!) How about simply highlighting or making a list about what you have learnt from experience.  ‘Keep it Real’ and make a list about what it is to be human.  Mindfulness isn’t some special power we have to go out and ‘get’ it’s something that we all of access to.  Mindfulness is about paying attention to your life with Kindness & Curiosity.  So here is my list about:

 

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING HUMAN:

 

We all make mistakes
We all have to start somewhere
We all have a lot to learn , however each and everyone of us are teachers, simply because we all have our own life experiences.

 

How we learn is by being brave enough to share what we have learned with others.

Instead of saying “what will they think” or “what would I know” replace it with

 

“how can I help”?. 

 

By doing this we all can grow.  It no longer is about “you” it is about your community.

 

Another way to PRACTICE YOGA is to stop , pause and remember to ask

 

HOW WOULD LOVE RESPOND?

Namaste!

xox Tammy