Turn refusing into relating to your reality, even when you don’t like it. It’s a common misperception that we should be pain free or able to get rid of pain at will.
Although Yoga postures do bring relief and clear up blocked energy flow and remove stagnation , it’s the deeper aspects of yoga like self inquiry (mindfulness) that can help us come to terms with reality. Whether we like it or we don’t.
Quite often we can feel defeated by strong emotions which can cause us to further identify with them, or hook into them.
Like “why” am I feeling this way. It’s another way that the ego tells you, you shouldn’t be having this feeling. The next reaction to this is generally resistance to what it is we are experiencing. Inside the cocoon of Long Slow Deep types of yoga poses we can practice what the Yogis call “Pratyahara” withdrawal of the senses. This is not refusing what is there, it’s quite the opposite.
In the great yogic text The Bhagavad Gita it says:
” Just as the tortoise withdraws its limbs, so when a man withdraws his senses from the sense objects, his wisdom becomes steady.”
In this yoga practice we learn to soften to resistance and examine it and this is where the value of the practice comes alive without us controlling or manipulating the outcome.
From this practice we start to nourish and balance our energy and vital organs which can help us experience an emotional capacity to access a very powerful form of receptivity and gentleness. This is a key ingredient to inner wisdom that can show us many things ~ how to let go, how to amend , how to forgive, how to accept what has been and gone. Because refusing feelings doesn’t work. In my experience of nursing over the last twenty years and delivering Mindfulness for stress management, relapse prevention of depression, anxiety and addiction , when people refuse their feelings it causes disease. Science is now backing this up with Mindfulness being one of the preferred treatments for managing depression and anxiety.
Of course Acceptance is not easy , it can feel patronising when someone says “just accept” that is why its useful to bridge the gap on the spectrum a little and start with rolling out your mat, and learning how to work with resistance. Don’t expect yourself to “accept” (that to is refusing the authentic feeling that you are in that moment not accepting) So just start there, I’m not refusing the fact I’m not accepting and you will be surprised with what unfolds in your practice.
The approach is to remain still in your poses in Long Slow Deep as best as you can. When we practice the key ingredients of Mindfulness of Curiosity, Kindness and Non Judgement we are deliberately approaching the poses and the sensations that come up with interest and a willingness rather than buying into any psychological resistance.
When we are genuinely interested in something, we are not judging it. We apply this to tension weather it be psychological or physical tension. (Unless it is short/sharp/painful of course) We are not gripping or tensing waiting for the pose to be over. Instead we are letting the inner body soften and be receptive. This is why this is training for our mind more than anything. What a gift if we can take these qualities from the yoga mat of non reactivity into our relationships of daily life.
This is the most advanced practice of yoga (off the mat) because this is how yoga truly helps us , everyone we care about and associate with day to day. Replacing our habbit patterns of refusing (generally caused from judging it as ‘bad) with respect is the first step to becoming receptive.
The more receptive we can be the less tossed about we will be to the unpredictability of life.
Learning to familiarise yourself with strong feelings , opening up to them, letting the yoga take care of them is a really intelligent way to work with resistance.
You don’t actually “do” the yoga.
It does you.
Given the recent World Health Organisations statistics on suicide of “every 40 seconds someone takes their life” I think learning how to work with strong feelings is everyones business and everyones duty to try help make a difference to this devastating statistic.
Namaste
Tammy
MBCT programs or Mindfulness Training is a great way to discover more and learn how to deepen your own self inquiry or learn how to begin to introduce Mindfulness in your current personal / professional roles
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